Who was me?

Not that I think I have accomplished something, but I wanted to share how it all started for me.

For me, and when I say me – I mean this ‘meh’ boring introvert who no one gave a fuck about. I always thought I was not even average, had zero confidence, had one hobby and two friends.

I was happy when alone, loved walking by myself (listening to some Eminem and some Metallica).

Sometimes I thought no one wants to hang out with me, as if I wasn’t important enough. Since I remember. Maybe that was true. I don’t care anymore to be honest, because that’s past and I have probably grown out of it.

I thought no one cared about my opinions, my thoughts, my ideas, my vision or even my existence.

Maybe I was forced to being an introvert. And a huge contributor towards that was my abusive childhood. The scars from childhood take longer to heal, you start assuming that’s how the world is, and you are scared of each and every person you meet.

Slowly, very very slowly, I realised that’s not the case, and I wanted to see more of the world.

Spent 6 weeks in Europe, and interacted with more strangers than I had ever done before (yess, even when I lived in India, where finding people is not so difficult, you know).

I had the most amazing time in the conference, trying to push the moon!

In a non-cliche way, it taught me how much is to life if I step outside my shell of some unfortunate past experiences. And slowly, one day at a time, I started to overcome the gazillions of fears I had. (I still have some, but they are more like pet-peeves as opposed to fear).

Then I had this most amazing time in Sweden, which I have talked about enough, haha.

I guess, the key is to take small steps. Very tiny steps, and being aware of the changes it may bring in your life (not freak out when you actually see those changes occurring). I sometimes ‘mansplain’ so bear with me. Also, isn’t life all about learning?

I am still the introverted girl I was before, but I know when to come out of my comfort zone, and when to slide back in! 😀

And in my opinion that’s all it is about.

I write as I hum the following;

“Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us, only skyImagine all the people
Livin’ for today
Ah Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, tooImagine all the people
Livin’ life in peace
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one.”

Thank you reading me blabber this, I hope it was at least slightly helpful, or motivating.

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